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09 August 2006 @ 08:56 pm
This is the last entry any of my "real life friends" will be able to read. unless you REALLY want me to keep you, and tell me so, i'm deleting all of you. it's nothing personal by any means. if anything it's better this way. i thought being able to talk about it with people i knew would make me feel better, but as of late that's proven to be untrue.

i'm not mad at anyone. not a single person. not even any of the people who have been attacking me/giving me wake-up calls/reality checks, or whatever you want to call it. i do appreciate the honesty, truly. it's a deep-down feeling, one that has to fight it's way to the surface through the initial feelings of hurt and anger and sadness and shame. but beyond me and my own feelings, and far more importantly, i realize that i am hurting my friends. yes they dont quite understand what it's like to be in my position, but hey. i dont know what it's like to be in their position either. defenseless against this thing, watching their friend hurt herself. so i'll spare you all. it's no biggie, i'm not mad at anyone.

so i just deleted all my "real life friends." but this is a public entry, meaning for those who REALLY want, i'll add them back, but there's no pressure, it's a nicer world without my bullshit.
fakeplasticrose on August 10th, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)
I'd love to stay on your friends list :)
Melaniehope_land on August 10th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
ok =)
cuntutopian_bliss on August 10th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
i REALLY want to stay, and you know i would never give you shit or ever have a reason to.
Melaniehope_land on August 10th, 2006 03:10 am (UTC)
ok then =)
grimreaper7990 on August 10th, 2006 06:29 am (UTC)
I would like to stay if you wouldn't mind.
Entirely up to you though.
Scarlett Alyssamadchentot on August 10th, 2006 12:54 pm (UTC)
I totally understand that it can be really hard venting to people who can confront you in real life.
Brooklynvitaestbona on August 10th, 2006 12:58 pm (UTC)
Keep me!
ninaboy on August 11th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC)
I'll still keep you on my friends list, unless you do not want me to. I know how you feel, but do what you need to do. If what I say is not helping you (by causing 'triggering' effects, or what ever), by all means delete me. I would hate to know that I am harming someone with my posts. That being said, I would love to still be your friend. In either case, I fully understand. Take care!
thin__thin__ on August 11th, 2006 02:23 pm (UTC)
thats happened to me before.
friends try to help because they love you,
but for the most part, they will never know or understand how deep and eating disorder can go.

i hope you're still keeping me, missy!
Melaniehope_land on August 11th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
i will :D
you don't need to lose anymore weight... sure.tristezabella on August 12th, 2006 02:15 am (UTC)
ahhh i really hope you keep me! i looove reading your journal! you're so real, and i really can relate with what you are going through.

tuer_grastuer_gras on August 27th, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
You seem like a really understanding person, and I've seen you around _realthin before and gosh, you're such an inspiration. I was wondering if you'd like to be my livejournal friend? ♥
Melaniehope_land on August 27th, 2006 05:55 am (UTC)
tuer_gras: Make Up - Peace Modeltuer_gras on August 27th, 2006 06:02 am (UTC)
Aww. Thanks.
hopeland on September 5th, 2006 09:46 am (UTC)
Similar LJ usernames :)
Melaniehope_land on September 5th, 2006 02:06 pm (UTC)
heh :P