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09 August 2006 @ 09:02 am
this entry, now coming to you publicly, cuz it's just more fun that way.  
for some reason my friends like to shoot me down when i'm feeling pretty. like last night. i got a makeover at a mary-kay party i went to, and i took pictures and posted them, and well, someone decided that i shouldnt have the right to feel at least semi-pretty. that i need to constantly be reminded that in actuality i am not, that i am gaunt and sickly-looking and that i've ruined myself. oh yes i know that my dear. but it's nice to be able to escape that and forget about it, even for just a little while.



edit:

i appreciate the honesty. i do need to be made aware of what's happening to me, especaly since i dont really see it or understand it (i'm still technically at a healthy weight, and to me i just feel like i look normal). it was just not a good time to bring it up. but i'm over it now. it's fine.
 
 
 
system_meltdown on August 10th, 2006 03:15 am (UTC)
I just think it's funny, the girl who used to subtly compete with Melanie during school with things like, "I only ate this today." or "I only drink coke zero because all those calories make me soooo fat." and all that shit during the winter and now you're just bashing her. You're too competative for your own good. I used to think you were a kind, compassionate and understanding person, Madde. But I guess you can't see past yourself and/or your initial reactions to things and for that, I am sorry, for you and for whoever else thinks your way. You're alot different than the girl I met a while ago, playing some songs on her acoustic guitar with her pretty voice and angsty cries. It seems like you've changed alot, and it makes me sad. You're not the girl I used to know and I wish you were.