?

Log in

 
 
09 August 2006 @ 09:02 am
this entry, now coming to you publicly, cuz it's just more fun that way.  
for some reason my friends like to shoot me down when i'm feeling pretty. like last night. i got a makeover at a mary-kay party i went to, and i took pictures and posted them, and well, someone decided that i shouldnt have the right to feel at least semi-pretty. that i need to constantly be reminded that in actuality i am not, that i am gaunt and sickly-looking and that i've ruined myself. oh yes i know that my dear. but it's nice to be able to escape that and forget about it, even for just a little while.



edit:

i appreciate the honesty. i do need to be made aware of what's happening to me, especaly since i dont really see it or understand it (i'm still technically at a healthy weight, and to me i just feel like i look normal). it was just not a good time to bring it up. but i'm over it now. it's fine.
 
 
 
yesterdayshighyesterdayshigh on August 9th, 2006 02:00 pm (UTC)
dont listen to them, I have only seen your regular pictures and I think you have one of the prettiest faces i have seen in a long time!
Maddepenguinrevenge on August 9th, 2006 02:50 pm (UTC)
stop lying to her
yesterdayshighyesterdayshigh on August 9th, 2006 02:59 pm (UTC)
i am not lying. Yes, she may be thin but it is an illness - the last thing she needs is people taking down her confidence. She is beautiful, so there.
asclearasdreams on August 9th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC)
They're scared, and they're trying to put you down so that you change your behaviour. Probably not aware that you can't change your behaviour.
Maddepenguinrevenge on August 9th, 2006 02:49 pm (UTC)
because you DO look old and ugly now. fuck malnourishment, and fuck what you think about other people. you look terrible. and you probably take this as motivation to make yourself worse. everyone talks about you melanie. everyone thinks you're ugly. everyone thinks you're fucking ridiculous. no one's said anything because we don't want you to kill yourself. or, god help you, write more livejournal entries about it.
you know i have this journal on my friends page. why did you write about me? seeing as how you even deleted what i said to you on your other journal, i dont think people on this one deserve to know. you don't even know them. they don't even know you. it's sad. not that you don't know them, but because they're pretending to be the same as you.
don't reply to this, i don't wanna hear about what you have to say.
and do everyone a favor and just jump off a fucking cliff.
fakeplasticrose on August 9th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)
wow, you are such a bitch.
u_n_written on August 9th, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
are you fucking kidding? Get the fuck out of here what kind of fucking friend are you? Why don't you go jump off a cliff because you obviously are a waste of fucking life.
Maddepenguinrevenge on August 9th, 2006 09:34 pm (UTC)
i'm not her friend
Melaniehope_land on August 10th, 2006 03:12 am (UTC)
how dramatic. over a livejournal comment.
Melaniehope_land on August 9th, 2006 06:34 pm (UTC)
all i'm gonna say is if you dont like being friends with this livejournal, simply take me off your list. and notice that i never mentioned your name or what you said.
system_meltdown on August 10th, 2006 03:15 am (UTC)
I just think it's funny, the girl who used to subtly compete with Melanie during school with things like, "I only ate this today." or "I only drink coke zero because all those calories make me soooo fat." and all that shit during the winter and now you're just bashing her. You're too competative for your own good. I used to think you were a kind, compassionate and understanding person, Madde. But I guess you can't see past yourself and/or your initial reactions to things and for that, I am sorry, for you and for whoever else thinks your way. You're alot different than the girl I met a while ago, playing some songs on her acoustic guitar with her pretty voice and angsty cries. It seems like you've changed alot, and it makes me sad. You're not the girl I used to know and I wish you were.
Melaniehope_land on August 10th, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC)
oh yes and not to mention all the times she's IMed me asking for weight-loss tips. it's all very hypocritical, hmm.

but since this is entirely silly, and i really dont even understand WHY you got so angry in the first place (perhaps you've just been looking for a reason to go of on me for some time now?), so because of the silliness of all this i've said my last in this arguement. i just find it quite amusing considering i'm notnearly as mad at you as you are at me, which further shows how dramatic you are being since what you've been saying to me and behind my back in custom filtered lj entries (how mature) is far worse than anything i've written in this entry. YOU were the one who made yourself known as the person i was writing about, not me.
Maddepenguinrevenge on August 9th, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC)
why would someone (a FRIEND, yes) be like, "actually no you're not."

BECAUSE IM HONEST. DONT YOU GET IT
(Deleted comment)
Maddepenguinrevenge on August 9th, 2006 09:34 pm (UTC)
yes
Melaniehope_land on August 9th, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC)
i do get that you're honest, and in a way i do appreciate it. its just kind of a bummer to hear such things when i'd goten all dolled up and felt pretty and stuff. i dunno.
u_n_written on August 9th, 2006 03:58 pm (UTC)
Because they are fucking iggnorant. They don't understand what it's like to be you babe. And they never will. If they ever say any shit like that to you SPEAK YOUR MIND! Don't let them walk all over you. ♥
grimreaper7990 on August 9th, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC)
i liked the picture melanie...
Melaniehope_land on August 9th, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC)
hehe thanks nick =)
cuntutopian_bliss on August 9th, 2006 05:09 pm (UTC)
people IM'd you telling you that you aren't pretty or something along those lines?

that's fucked.
Maddepenguinrevenge on August 9th, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
no i told her one of her pictures made her look old. then she deleted my comments, then deleted the post [and pictures] because she's a douchebag. and ihope you get this comment before she deletes this too.
Melaniehope_land on August 10th, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
no madde's wrong. in addition to that post, some people did IM me. but whatever i'm over it.
E.elfianjoy on August 9th, 2006 05:10 pm (UTC)
i think you're gorgeous. they're either worried or jealous, or both. you may have an illness, but you are still beautiful.
_zenshin__zenshin_ on August 9th, 2006 05:18 pm (UTC)
I mean every word so rest your eyes before reading. and if you want to say anything to me, in response to this or not, good or bad I got an honest and listening ear for you.

Everyone is concerned. No one wants to worry about you. People don't like feeling hurt and worried and targeted. People feel all those things. In general a lot of people's lives seem to be falling apart or just generally becoming less happy-go-ish. and it just seems people have lost it and have decided to shit on themselves.

I'll continue to be honest: I don't care much for what others may have to say here. I do care what I do have to say and I hope I say it right I do not mean to offend. You are pretty, but in my opinion ( which being a opinion doesn't really matter ) being so skinny ( which in my and others opinion you are ) begins to work against you. Both in the obvious mental sense where all this negative attention follows and fuels you to sadness. And in the physical sense where at a point being so skinny takes away from your beautiful body. I wish you could feel content and happy. I have no idea how to give you this or how to actually help and it concerns me. So what I can do is wish that you could feel beautiful and be happy at the same time. That's what I want. I want my friends to be happy and healthy, but it seems more and more it is less and less of that. So I hope my words did not offend, I am a friend and I will act as such, in that I will be honest to any question you ask me and listen to you and reply to favors called on. We love you Melanie, I love you. Please feel better, what ever bothers you, please feel better and smile for me.
u_n_written on August 9th, 2006 10:41 pm (UTC)
now that is a good friend
Melaniehope_land on August 10th, 2006 12:36 am (UTC)
that he is =)
dakonaz on August 9th, 2006 05:43 pm (UTC)
I totally know I'm in no position to comment on this sort of thing, we dont have that sort of friendship.

but the sporadic cycle in which I see you has led me to see you get skinnier visably almost every time I've seen you, and it worries me.

as to the picture, you did look good, but thats not why 14 people are commenting on this post. that penguin person is totally out of line, however I agree with zenshin and see their point, despite not being involved in the circle.

obviously being the first time I've actually commented on your journal I feel this entry to be significant. You're definatly better than those insults, and better than being brought down by them, or by this "illness". sorry for intruding, I hope everything works out, you're better than them.